


garden variety

by gaytimetraveller



Category: Persona 2
Genre: M/M, here it is lads!! that zine piece i kept forgetting to post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 00:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15569904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaytimetraveller/pseuds/gaytimetraveller
Summary: Tatsuya and Jun go plant shopping for the spring, and it's all awfully tender.





	garden variety

**Author's Note:**

> okay so!! this was a zine piece for the tatsujun zine which you can get extras of or a digital copy of here !!! https://tatsujunzine.tumblr.com/post/171882567818/extras-and-the-digital-zine-are-now-up-for-sale
> 
> ive forgotten to post this for so long its quite late life has been very hectic for the past uhhh several weeks to be honest so ive just been playing godawful amounts of video games and ive barely been on my laptop itself which is why this hasnt been posted as of yet

Humid greenhouse air somehow felt easier to breathe than the crisp winter air outside. Tatsuya trailed behind Jun, fiddling with the lighter in his pocket as the other flitted around between plants. Mostly houseplants, of course, he wouldn’t be planting much outside beneath layers of snow and frost. Although, Jun was already plotting out the spring. Tatsuya was fairly sure by the time spring actually rolled around there would be more plants inside the house than out. It was almost like a lived-in greenhouse; there was already a small tree going in the living room. There was something warmly comfortable about that idea, even for Tatsuya.

He watched Jun lift up potted plants he had no hope of recognizing, slowly rotating them in his hands. Tatsuya was far less occupied with trying to figure out what plant Jun was holding in the moment, far more concentrated on watching Jun’s hands, and the way his face would occasionally scrunch up surveying the plants.

“What do you think of chrysanthemums?” Jun said, breaking Tatsuya out of his idle thoughts.

Tatsuya only tilted his head, staring at the red flowers in Jun’s hand. He gradually opened his mouth to echo Jun’s words, but Jun was already speaking. He was always like that, Tatsuya nearly never had to say a word if he didn’t want to. Which, really, was most times. There was something unspeakably wonderful about being with someone who understood him so fundamentally, so graciously, and especially for Tatsuya; who seemed like a brick wall to most, but read with ease by Jun. Tatsuya knew he would never be able to put this into words, it was  _ unspeakably _ wonderful after all, he could only try his best to treat him as softly as calloused hands could muster.

“Red chrysanthemums. They’d be cheerful, maybe for the living room?” Jun was smiling, excited yet a little unsure. He leaned back on his heels, tapping the toes of his rain-boots together. Tatsuya took a moment to respond, like a slow moving machine steaming up in the muggy greenhouse, gears slowly yet still steadily turning.

He shrugged, the lighter audibly clinking in his pocket. “I think they’re nice, but get whatever you want…” Tatsuya trailed off, glancing away from Jun, and then back to his rain-boots, toes still lightly tapping. “You know more than me,” he mumbled, words tumbling together haphazardly.

Jun tilted his head to the side, trying to glean anything else from Tatsuya; whatever else he couldn’t put into words but rather into silent fidgeting. He squinted, slowly stepping forward, eventually reaching his boyfriend. Gently, he pulled Tatsuya’s hand out of his pocket and away from the lighter, into his own and then flat in front of the both of them. Then, with the other, he lightly laid the little plastic pot of chrysanthemums in his hand.

“I’m going to go get one of those plant carts, just stay right here,” Jun said, just as softly as everything else. As he walked out of the greenhouse and back into the store, he seemed to nearly glide, steps light and rubber boot squeaks barely audible. Jun always seemed a little lighter in the garden, a little more like a faery floating on the wind, a little less anchored to the ground.

Meanwhile, Tatsuya was frozen in place, as still as the garden statues around him. Gradually, he relaxed, breath coming easy in warm air, shoulders slowly easing down. It wasn’t that he was necessarily tense, but rather that Tatsuya seemed to exist in a constant state of somewhat stress, somewhat tension, a rope pulled just a little tight. A quiet moment was a good chance to breathe easy.

Even for someone like Tatsuya, whose natural element was gears and mechanical things that whirred and rumbled, brought to life by fire and oil, there was something nice about the smell of plants and life and growth. His other hand came to join the one holding the flower pot, carefully holding it between both hands. Flowers were so fragile, so easy to crumble and die, nothing like the solid metal he was so used to handling, so he handled them with care. He never knew how much force was too much when it came to things so fragile and fleeting. For a moment, he thought perhaps Jun was like that, but Jun was much less delicate, much less quick to crumble. He was metallically unyielding beneath his dainty appearance, much stronger under the skin than anyone would’ve guessed. He may have been breakable, but not flimsy, not fleeting, not brittle and ready to crumble at the slightest neglect.

It didn’t take long for light steps to start padding across the greenhouse and towards Tatsuya, accompanied by the sound of wheels vaguely squeaking along. It was no surprise for Jun to come merrily down the aisle, already with some kind of hanging plant hanging off of the bar of the cart. “Are you ready to pick out some plants?” Jun said, voice airy and smiling wide.

“Me?” Tatsuya’s eyebrows went up, and Jun breathed a laugh, then brought a hand up to his own face.

“Yes, of course! You never really pick out any, and we should have some that you like as well…we can’t have my garden taking over the whole house,” Jun smiled and moved his hand from his own face to Tatsuya’s, gently patting his cheek. “Now, let’s find you something,”

Then, he took the little pot of chrysanthemums out of Tatsuya’s hands, and plopped it into the cart. He hooked his arm through the other’s, and pushed the cart with the other hand. He hummed as they went, something vaguely familiar, likely something Tatsuya had heard drifting through the house when Jun played piano, something he tended to doze off to in the evenings when he was home. Jun led him off down the aisle, and Tatsuya watched more of where he was walking than the plant, trying not to trip over his own feet, or more-so over Jun’s.

Jun leisurely stopped at a row of little colourful potted plants, all neatly laid out in tight rows. Tatsuya couldn’t name them for the life of him, but he knew he’d seen dozens of them around the house, decorating the windowsills around the house. He remembered Jun growing quite a lot of them from clippings, and how he had sighed and laughed when they’d ended up with too many and Tatsuya had had to help him transplant them all.

“Do you want to pick out a few of these? You could take care of them yourself too, if you’d like. Succulents aren’t too hard to take care of,” he leaned over Tatsuya’s shoulder, eyeing the plants.

“Mm,” Tatsuya shrugged, one hand hovering over the little pots. Gingerly, he picked up a small, pink-ish one. “This?” he held it up, and Jun leaned to look at it.

“That’s an echeveria, should be lovely,” he patted Tatsuya’s arm and smiled. “Just that?”

Once again, Tatsuya shrugged. “I like this one,”

He gently put it down in the cart, careful as ever, and Jun started slowly walking them along again. It was quiet, comfortably so. Both of their steps were rhythmically steady, slow; Jun’s rubber boots squeaking a little, Tatsuya’s boots only dully scuffing against the ground. Jun still seemed so light on his feet, whereas Tatsuya felt somehow more grounded, more anchored down and steady. There was something quite comfortable about that.

Neither of them said much as they leisurely went up and down the rows of plants, comfortable and content in silence. They’d never needed words for everything; Jun would hold up plants and tilt his head to one side, or raise an eyebrow, and Tatsuya would smile, but only a little, in the way that it seemed only Jun could tell he was smiling at all.

Occasionally, Jun would softly tell Tatsuya the name of a plant, or some kind of fact about it. As always, some of it went right over Tatsuya’s head, but he didn’t mind, he never minded at all. It made him happy, to see Jun so happy, to have him by his side, humming or murmuring about plants and meanings and fancy sounding names that were quite nice when he said them. Even in the humidity of the greenhouse, Jun was nicely warm against his side, the arm looped through his even moreso.

It didn’t take long for the cart to start filling up, Tatsuya’s little plant surrounded by flowers, more chrysanthemums along with camellias and heliotrope, hanging pots of ivy, and a few packs of seeds for spearmint plants in the spring. His one little plant seemed dwarfed by Jun’s miniature garden worth of them, but it was better to start small, Tatsuya had already had the misfortune of accidentally killing a few plants after being left to look after them. Although, he at least still had a better track record than Maya.

Jun seemed satisfied with the plants, content to continue to walk around, with the amount of plants he stopped to pick up and survey dwindling. Eventually they were walking between less rows of greenery, and more of garden fountains, and little man-made ponds. He soon slowed to a stop, and gently tapped Tatsuya on the arm, looked up at him and then pointed to a stone bench by a little koi pond. Tatsuya smiled a bit and nodded in response to the unspoken question. Jun pushed the cart off to the side, then let out a sigh as both of them sat down, head coming to rest on Tatsuya’s shoulder.

Aside from the gentle noise of water running in the koi pond, and perhaps the distant footsteps of anyone else who might be milling around the greenhouses, it was quiet. Peacefully quiet. Tatsuya could feel Jun’s breathing slowing and steadying against him, and he tried to let himself relax again. It was easy, like this; with Jun at his side, in a warm greenhouse, a decently comfortable bench next to the white noise of a koi pond. He could’ve fallen sleep.

As Jun’s breathing evened out, Tatsuya thought it was like the ticking of a clock, or the rhythmic back and forth of a metronome. His mind wandered, to the watch on Jun’s wrist that may as well have been a second heartbeat, or the metronome at home and how Jun insisted that breathing with the music was important, that you had to feel it as much as know it. As it tended to go, Tatsuya didn’t always quite understand, whether it was because some things went a bit over his head, or because he would get distracted by watching Jun he wasn’t quite sure.

(And it was no surprise he would get distracted watching Jun play, between the music and the way he moved; ever so elegant, airy and flowing as a breeze; the gear wheels of a watch turning smoothly and continuously. He could get lost watching him.)

Vaguely, he wondered if he should ask Jun to play when they got home. He was often more than happy to indulge Tatsuya when it came to that.

Quietly, he fiddled with the lighter in his pocket, trying not to flush and overheat in a greenhouse just thinking of his boyfriend playing something for him. He tended to fluster so easily, just being with Jun really, he was almost surprised he hadn’t already. The telltale clink of his lighter, and he heard Jun hum and knew he was smiling, even if he didn’t say anything.

Tatsuya’s other hand tapped near silently against his leg without him much noticing. It was no problem to tell that he couldn’t keep his hands still, or at least needed them occupied. He thought that maybe, he could just hold Jun’s hand, but even now that struck a nervous chord in him. Even now, he felt like he had to ask, wasn’t sure if it was always okay. It was so much easier when Jun took his hands in his own first, touch as simple and easy as breathing. For Tatsuya, it made him nervous, he could run circles around it all in his own head and not end up doing anything at all. A wheel pointlessly spinning, going around in circles and loops over and over, again and again.

Gingerly and hesitant as ever, he moved his hand, at least off of his leg and onto the bench. Some progress. Fingers aimlessly tapped against stone, Jun hummed again as he watched Tatsuya fidget. He tried to focus on breathing, on the sound of water in the koi pond, on anything that would get the cogs to stop spinning, and let him just reach out and hold his hand.

It should’ve been simple, or at least simpler than this. It shouldn’t have made him nervous, he shouldn’t feel obligated to ask when it came to even simple things, but even now Jun seemed so ephemeral, so fleeting, and he knew that it was so unlikely, that he was so lucky to have him like this. To be able to see him, and be with him, to be able to touch him, and hold him, and love him, it all seemed like an impossibility once, and even now he couldn’t shake the fear of hurting him. He didn’t want to mess things up, not with something so impossible and yet unavoidably fated; didn’t want the forces that wanted to make this a tragedy to be proven right in any degree. Most of all, he simply didn’t want to hurt him. Jun was a contradiction; strong yet delicate, lasting and brief, he wanted to be held but sometimes he couldn’t, he wanted to be touched but sometimes he drew away.

Even now, somewhere out there, the wheel of fortune turned, and although they were no longer in it, the ghost of the cycle continued to hang over their heads. They defied fate every day, simply existing as they were, but the echoes of what could (what should) have been still haunted.

Tatsuya shook himself out of his thoughts, quite physically in fact. He shook his head back and forth, but lightly, best not to jostle Jun, where his head rested on his shoulder. Jun did nothing more than an inquisitive look up, and Tatsuya did his best to smile back, even if only smally so.

He did his best to stop fidgeting, to keep the tremble from his hand, and most of all to keep from flustering and overheating and blundering as he tended to when he lifted his hand. He tried to grasp Jun’s, without looking, of course without looking he’d be too embarrassed otherwise, or more-so flustered. Of course he missed, hand vaguely grasping at the trim of Jun’s raincoat on his leg, and Jun was ever so kind enough to place his hand in Tatsuya’s grip.

Jun squeezed his hand, and Tatsuya did the same back, and the shaking in his hand truly stilled. He couldn’t quite bring himself to look at the other, and he knew he must’ve been bright red, and that he should’ve been past being this nervous and mushy about something so simple. Lightly, Jun sighed, and Tatsuya knew his eyes had fallen closed in the way he tended to know, in the way that Jun was a part of him, a true other half, light and shadow, opposite reflections.

He could feel the other’s watch ticking at his wrist, a second heartbeat, one he could feel himself breathing with, and Jun’s chest rising and falling with it.

And for a moment, things fell together. Everything felt wonderfully together, Jun at his side and the ground beneath his feet and a hand he would never, ever let go given the choice.

Even if just for that moment, Tatsuya felt a synchronicity, a feeling that everything was moving all at once, living and breathing and existing together.

After a few quiet, harmonious seconds, or minutes, or simply moments, he was softly nudged out of his thoughts by Jun, who stirred against shoulder. He leisurely lifted his head then brought his other hand to rest on the back of Tatsuya’s.

“Are you ready to go? We should probably get home soon,” Jun murmured, looking at Tatsuya’s hand, which he held in two of his own. Tatsuya nearly missed his words, distracted by his boyfriend, of course. This time it was by how lightly yet firmly Jun held his hand, how tenderly, like it was something fragile, something to be handled carefully, not something rough and calloused and clumsy.

It took a moment for him to process the words, to filter from noise echoing in his head to something comprehensible. He blinked, then nodded. “Yeah,”

Jun smiled, gently grasping Tatsuya’s hand as he got up, lightly pulling the other up with him. He didn’t bother looping his arm through Tatsuya’s as he walked both of them back to the cart, simply letting one hand drift and the other with a just firm enough hold to keep from letting go.

Several minutes later, they were drifting back through comfortably humid greenhouses. Jun had had to have a last look of course, couldn’t be missing any seeds for the spring, nor any plants for the house. Tatsuya almost dreaded going back out into crisper, colder air. It was undoubtedly nippy outside, the kind of cold that felt vaguely hard and kind of sharp to breathe in, nothing like the mugginess of the greenhouses.

They paid for the plants, and headed for the door, hands still clasped together. Jun turned to Tatsuya, looked up at him with an unspoken question as they stepped into cold air. Tatsuya held his hand a little tighter.


End file.
